Away

“Happy Easter.” A stranger said to me at one of the metro stations in Buffalo.

I was not surprised. I think I hardly get surprised by anything these days. I smiled and said, “Happy Easter.”

“So what are you doing for Easter?”

“I…” I usually don’t get into conversations with strangers, but I answered him, “I guess, I came here.”

He sounded surprised, “What do you mean, you came here?”

“Well, I’m not from here.”

I’m not from anywhere.

I don’t remember what he looked like. It wasn’t that I was spacing out. I think I was looking at him because that was the polite thing to do, but I couldn’t see him, not really. My eyes were looking right past him.

“You’re not from Buffalo? Where are you from?”

More questions. “Canada,” I said, not wanting to disclose too much about myself. In any case, you’re not asking because you want to know.

“Why did you come to Buffalo?” There was a slight bit of curiosity in his voice.

“Sometimes I like to pick a place and just wander.”

“Really?” He sounds surprised. Why does he sound so surprised? I looked at him. I still don’t see him. I looked away, slightly anxious for the next train to arrive.

“Yeah,” I said, and didn’t want to elaborate.

“That’s what I want to do, travel more. You see, I don’t have kids or anything,” He proceeded to say, “so I want to do some travelling before any of that. I’m only a free man until all that happens, you know?”

What does it mean to be free?

I knew that a spontaneous trip would be good for me. Yes, I went to Buffalo by myself. That was the whole point. To be honest, it didn’t matter much where I went, how far I went.

I just needed to be away. Away from what I’ve gotten used to. Away from routines. Away from people I know, places I know.

I needed time alone, and by placing myself in a city I’ve never set foot in I was able to do that and find bits and pieces of myself.